It's been a quiet week in Lake Woeallah, Egypt, my hometown, out on the edge of Cairo.
It's been hot, but it's dry heat. That makes the pollution dry, which, according to the medical community of Lake Woeallah, is highly preferable to moist pollution.
The heat's been good for business at the Chatterbox Cafe and Hookah Bar. Yusef Junior has taken over the business from Yusef Senior and he's decided to add cold smoothies to the menu, which are very popular with the high school girls on summer vacation. The smoothies are bright pink and orange and purple and the girls like to accessorize their headscarves according to the color of their smoothies and then take photos of themselves sitting together to put on their Facebook pages. Yusef Junior has even made a Facebook page for the Chatterbox Cafe and Hookah Bar, which, of course, Yusef Senior doesn't approve of. But Yusef Junior is quite satisfied with the website and the smoothies and all the changes that have come this summer to his cafe. The website gets a few hits a week, which may not be a statistical achievement, but for Yusef it's good enough.
Meanwhile at Our Mosque of Perpetual Responsibility Heba Munir is preparing for Ramadan, which is just a week-and-a-half away. She's called for a coalition of other grandmothers who have decided that, in addition to fasting themselves, they are going to take on the responsibility of making sure that their grandchildren fast. Heba's daughter-in-law, Farida Munir, is less than thrilled with this idea. Her son, Hany Munir, is a very grumpy fourth grader and just the thought of his low blood sugar levels is enough to make Farida want to leave town. Which is exactly what she is going to do. Farida has given her mother-in-law full responsibility of Hany for the holy month of Ramadan. She is going to Alexandria to stay with her mother and she will only answer her cellphone if it's an emergency.
Hany is annoyed with the situation. He contemplated a hunger strike but quickly realized that, given the circumstances, it wouldn't work very well. He's asking his friends for suggestions, hoping they’ll tell him to go with his mother to the sea, but they just remind him that if he goes to Alexandria, he would have to visit his maternal grandmother, and if he visits his grandmother he would have to speak French with her. Hany’s maternal grandmother refuses to speak Arabic: only French. When faced with the decision of fasting or speaking French, Hany's choice is clear.
So Hany has resigned himself to a month in his paternal grandmother's air conditioner-less apartment. His father will be there, probably smoking cigarettes late into the night and listening to classical Arabic music on the radio. Hany will be bored-- he'll probably be very hungry and very grumpy--but what can he do? A ten-year-old in Lake Woeallah doesn't have a lot of choices in life…but, then again, an adult in Lake Woeallah doesn't have a lot of choices, either.
That's the news from Lake Woeallah where the army is strong, the camels are good looking, and the pollution is above-average!
Fiction after my favorite radio man, Garrison Keillor, founder of A Prairie Home Companion and author of Lake Wobegon Days.
